First of all, I do not call myself a photographer. I take pictures. I am an amateur. I take the pictures my soul longs to see. I am not trying to satisfy a market or sell my skills. I take pictures because I love doing it. When I was young I received a camera for Christmas. It used 126 rolled film and I took pictures all the time. Unfortunately the film was a lot cheaper than the developing and so I acquired quite a few undeveloped rolls. But I really did not mind. I enjoyed taking the pictures more than I did looking at them afterwards. And then my Mom gave me the ultimate camera, a Swinger. This was a polaroid camera that developed after you pulled them out of the camera. However, I soon learned that it was not as much fun as my first camera because the film was so expensive I could not afford to buy it. Early on I enjoyed taking pictures more than I enjoyed producing them. I am definitely not much of a photographer.
Over 20 years ago a good friend reacquainted me with my love of taking pictures. Jim had been doing nature photography for some time and enjoyed having someone tag along. I willingly obliged. His photography reawakened my interest. He loaned me a camera and lens and I was off and running. I started with prints. I filled box after box as I practiced the skills I was learning from Jim and the books he recommended. After filling several boxes, I moved on to slides and filled notebook after notebook. In order to learn, I had to develop the pictures. The year that I returned from the Grand Canyon with 30-40 rolls of slide film that needed to be developed it became clear that I needed to move on to a digital camera. From that point in 2008, taking pictures has become a passion. It served both my passion and my frugality. (Jim would say cheapness.)
At that time I also discovered that I was much more visual than I had ever imagined. For the previous 30 years I was a word person. But the visual side of my self began to grow. I began to relate to the world more deeply when I was less engaged in using words to describe and struggle with understanding it. Being present was much easier visually than verbally.
In those years I met another friend, Mike, who enjoyed “praying through the camera lens.” Together we explored and continue to explore this part of our spiritual lives. The whispering presence is much more evident when I am spending time with it with a camera in my hand. This blog is a direct outcome, as I strive to unite these two passions, words and images. Together they have opened my soul to the mystery in ways I never believed possible.
So, why do I take pictures?
The camera offers me an intimate relationship with the ground of my being, the mystery that exists beyond any words or ideas. Being a wordy extrovert, the camera allows the non-verbal introvert his time in the sun and a place at the discussion table of my soul.
The time spent with a camera allows me to pay attention to the grand vistas of life as well as the beautiful details around me. It allows my soul to process the “real” as opposed to the “what I think is real.” It encourages both mindfulness and non-doing. It opens my eyes to a world that exists apart from what I expect to see and brings delight and playfulness to my spirit.
At times, taking pictures allows me to converse with the birds and alligators, rivers and mountain ranges. They teach and I am learning to be an attentive and appreciative student. Sometimes they simply help me to see more clearly the person who is looking at them through my lens as well as the one who is looking back at me.
In short, I take pictures because it helps me dance with the spirit, the same one that exists within and beyond my body-mind-soul. Taking pictures allows me to engage the unity in life rather than constantly defining, dividing, devising, defending, deconstructing, and destroying the gifts it offers. I can, to quote and old folk song, “Go Waltzing with the Bears”. I can two-step through the tulips. I can doh-see-doh with the sand dunes and fox trot with real foxes. All the while I am growing and developing a clearer image of myself and the world that surrounds me.
If you enjoy looking at some of my pictures then I am very grateful. I will certainly keep sharing my shots as well the occasional observation in this blog. After all, I like to write, as well. But please know, essentially this is a very selfish exercise. I do it to get in touch with the me that is still being discovered in my body-mind-soul.
Blessings,
Bob